It can take some time to get used to distinguishing between the internal voice of your integrity, and the external influences that have helped you make your choices throughout your life. Sometimes the voice has been muted for so long that it has become an unconscious habit to ignore it - for example, the voice that says 'I’m damaging myself with these cigarettes', or 'the long hours I work prevent me from spending time with my children', has become an unwelcome and inconvenient intrusion, gradually pushed down and down till it's merely a dull, guilty throb somewhere in your mind.
It can be a lengthy process. Give yourself plenty of time and take it day by day, minute by minute. Stay present and pay attention. Watch your own reaction to each situation as it arises, and don't be disappointed if you think you've reacted in a way that doesn't represent your integrity - give yourself credit for recognizing it! It'll be much easier to identify the voice next time a similar situation arises. Every realization, no matter how small it seems, is an expansion of your awareness - it ALL helps!
If you're confused about the way you react, take a moment and picture the healthiest, most generous way you could relate to the situation. This can be your example to work from next time you meet a similar challenge, or as you feel more and more able to align yourself the idea of your expanded self.
If that still doesn't cut it, you're probably in a situation that requires you to weigh up your own needs with those of another. Be honest with yourself about your needs. If you genuinely think they’ll be compromised should you act according to the other person's wishes, put your needs first.
Look at the way you’re relating to the situation at hand. It might be difficult, but be ready to recognize your own attitudes as being the cause of your discomfort. Often it’s tempting to make yourself out as the victim of the situation, but do you really want to hand the responsibility for how you’re feeling over to someone else? You don’t really need to disempower yourself in this way. How are you responding? How can you change your attitude so that you’re not at the mercy of circumstances?
Do all you can to simplify your life. This is fundamental. It makes it much easier to bring honesty to everything you do.
Be honest with yourself. Communicate. Stay authentic; keep your intentions genuine.
You have all the time in the world, and all the latitude to make as many mistakes as you need to make. You can always reassess and do things differently next time, and any loss you experience as a result of your mistakes was excess to your needs anyway.
Download the free ebook 'The Willing Misfit' at:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/137307
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